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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24697438">Bamboos May Crack for All I Care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimpotato/pseuds/kimpotato'>kimpotato</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NU'EST</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Folklore, Gen, Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:15:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>592</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24697438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimpotato/pseuds/kimpotato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A vindictive hummingbird accidentally sets free the first humans of the world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Minki | Ren &amp; Kang Dongho | Baekho, Choi Minki | Ren/Kang Dongho | Baekho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Nu'fics x The Parallel</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bamboos May Crack for All I Care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamie/gifts">Flamie</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As promised, for helping promote my drabble pick (Nu'fics trolled us but whatever it was still funny).</p><p>***</p><p>Nu'fics x The Parallel Fic Fest<br/>Category: Folklore (Philippines)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Humminhyun has had enough. </p><p>He had been flying forever, <em> forever!, </em>and the second he was finally given some respite, allowed to build his nest on any island he chose, this stupid bamboo pole dared to get in the way, striking him with all its bamboo-y bits.</p><p>Oh, it was getting what it deserved, all right.</p><p>Trilling angrily, Humminhyun struck down, gigantic beak first, at the bamboo pole’s nodes. One hit, two hits, and then a five-hit combo. He heard the wind laugh softly, as if mocking him. This only made him peck at the bamboo harder, more furiously.</p><p>CRAAAAACK!</p><p>Humminhyun squawked in victory when the loud noise suddenly filled the air. Flapping his wings in satisfaction, he watched the bamboo pole split in two. <em> That’ll teach it, </em>he huffed. Poised to fly off in search of better lands, he suddenly stopped when white smoke started spilling out of the two bamboo halves.</p><p>“Chirp?”</p><p>Humminhyun flew closer, tiny wings whirring in midair as he waited for the wind to blow the smoke away. He chirped curiously, anger all forgotten, as he watched the most bizarre scene unfold before his eyes.</p><p>A muscular arm reached out from inside one half of the bamboo, followed by a chiseled chest and abdomen. From the other bamboo half, a pair of long legs stretched, and out walked a lithe creature with long, shiny hair.</p><p>“Chirp! Chirp!”</p><p>As the muscular creature looked around, eyes squinting while he examined his surroundings, the wind blew in his ear, quietly asking for his name.</p><p>“Kang Strong-ho,” the man replied shyly, his eyes disappearing as he smiled.</p><p>Humminhyun mentally noted that the man looked like a smiling white tiger. He automatically dubbed him “Baekho,” because it sounded way better than Strong-ho anyway.</p><p>The wind hummed and gently blew the other person’s hair, revealing the most beautiful creature Humminhyun had ever set his eyes on. Even the wind momentarily paused, whispering softly at how pretty Baekho’s female companion was.</p><p>“Choi Maganda,” the beautiful creature announced before anyone could ask. “Am I a boy or a girl? I’m a man. Fashion makes a person and its impression.”</p><p>If the wind could blush, it definitely would have. Instead, Humminhyun felt the breeze grow warmer, as if the wind’s face (if it had a face) suddenly heated up in embarrassment.</p><p>Humminhyun immediately dubbed the feisty man “Ren,” for no other reason except that it sounded cool.</p><p>The wind blew again after a few seconds. Humminhyun didn’t catch everything it said, but he did pick up the words “marry,” “family,” and “procreate.” The bird watched as Baekho’s face turned red, as red as the red flowers he could spot as he flew along in his journeys. Ren, on the other hand, raised a delicate eyebrow and scoffed at the wind.</p><p>“We can’t procreate,” the man-not-boy-or-girl explained. “We have the same genitalia.”</p><p>Humminhyun watched Baekho’s face turn red some more, even as he felt the breeze blow warmer again.</p><p>“Anyway, I have to go now,” Ren continued. “Being stuck in that bamboo for so long with this fellow,” he stuck a thumb toward Baekho, “has almost driven me mad.” Giving the rest of them one final wave, the beautiful man moved on, probably eager to carouse with the different fauna on the island.</p><p>Humminhyun heard the wind sigh as Baekho tried his best to cover his crown jewels with a nearby leaf. Face still red, the muscular man grinned sheepishly at him. He then tilted his head toward another bamboo pole.</p><p>“Think you can crack open another one?”</p><p> </p><p>###</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This story is a parody of the <a href="https://pantheon.org/articles/m/malakas.html">Si Malakas at Si Maganda</a> Philippine folklore.</p><p>Manager-nim A, thank you (again)!</p><p>Visit <a href="https://twitter.com/thelittlebugi/">KP's Corner</a> for more of my plot bunnies and drabbles.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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